


Hat Tricks

by Moonloon (maryavatar)



Category: due South
Genre: First Time, Humor, M/M, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-06-28
Updated: 2006-06-28
Packaged: 2018-11-10 20:45:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11134398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maryavatar/pseuds/Moonloon
Summary: Fraser's a genie.  Yes, I *know*.  It was a badfic challenge, what do you expect?





	Hat Tricks

Hat Tricks

## Hat Tricks

  
by Moonloon  


Disclaimer: I don't own Fraser or RayK, I'm just borrowing them. Don't worry, I'll sponge them off before I give them back.

Author's Notes: ds_flashfic for the_familiar

* * *

> _There once was a Mountie named Ben_  
>  Who lured a hot cop to his den  
>  He said 'I'm a genie!'  
>  And showed Ray his weenie  
>  Then taught him of love between men.

**Hat Tricks**

"No... wait... you're trying to tell me you're a genie?"

Fraser nodded and ducked as a Frisbee went sailing past his head. "Yes, Ray."

"And Dief used to be a guy called Steve, who used his last wish..."

"Unwisely, yes." Fraser nodded some more.

"Have you been licking anything weird recently? Because you never know when something completely normal could have hallucinogenic properties. I found that out the hard way, when I borrowed a stamp from my cousin Al."

"Ray. Do you remember what you said when Mr. Vaughn urinated on your foot?"

"Yeah, I called him a fuc..."

"AFTER that, Ray."

"Um, I said I wished we were lying on a beach somewhere warm."

"And where are we now?"

Ray looked around. Sun, sand, sea, chicks in bikinis, drinks with paper umbrellas, some asshole on a jet ski, and more pineapple than any sane man would want to see. "At a rough guess... Hawaii?"

"Yes, Ray. I considered Mexico, but I felt that the laid-back Hawaiian atmosphere would be more appropriate, considering the stressful time you've had lately." Fraser smiled and rubbed his eyebrow. "Also, I'm rather fond of pineapple."

Ray thought about it for a moment, then decided that the whole day had to be a bizarre dream, an acid flashback, or someone had sneaked up behind him and shot him, and this was all just the afterlife's idea of fucking with the new guy.

"This is _insane_ , Fraser! I wish for stuff all the time, how come I never got any of my other wishes, huh? How about the time I wished we could find all that stolen Vaseline? And I _know_ someone says 'I wish Dewey didn't smell so bad' in front of you at least twice a day. Why now?"

Fraser smiled, and nodded as a young woman in a thong bikini winked at him. "Well, you're not usually touching my hat when you make a wish, Ray."

"Your hat?"

"You handed it to me as we got ready to leave, remember? You were rubbing the brim."

"Huh?"

"Every genie has a... well... a centre of power. Usually a container of some kind, where they can rest and recharge their magical essence. Over the years it's become common for less scrupulous magical practitioners to imprison and enslave genies inside their own power centres, which is why I opted for something a little less obvious than the usual bottle or oil lamp."

Ray stared at Fraser for a moment, then stomped off in search of a hotel with a bar.

Ray was halfway through his second frosty cold beer when Fraser reappeared at his elbow.

"AAARGH!" Ray fell off his bar stool. "Did you just materialize there?"

Fraser helped him up. "Um, no. I came from reception." Fraser pointed at the doorway behind Ray.

"Oh, right."

"I got us a room." Fraser waved a key at Ray. "I thought we should probably finish this conversation in private."

Ray thought about it for a moment. "Does the room have a minibar?" Fraser nodded. "Okay then."

Ray lined the tiny bottles up in order of drinkability. "Which is worse, Frase, the purple stuff or the creamy yellow stuff?"

"By the time you get that far, will you really care?"

"Good point." Ray cracked open the Scotch.

Fraser threw his hat down on the bed and started unfastening his tunic. "Ray, isn't there anything you want to ask me?"

"You don't look much like a genie. Aren't you guys supposed to wear harem pants?"

Fraser blushed, and Ray grinned the evil grin that made perps (and everyone else) question his sanity. Fraser realized what was going on just a moment too late, as Ray dived onto the bed, grabbed Fraser's hat, and started stroking it.

"I really wish I could see you in the full genie regalia."

***KER-FWOOSH***

"Gah!"

Ray had never really understood the saying 'be careful what you wish for' before, but now, confronted with Benton Fraser in transparent yellow harem pants and a kilo of sequins, he finally got it.

"Yellow isn't really my colour, I know. But these things are decided on a random, and frankly quite inefficient, basis. I have petitioned the High Council about the dress code, but I'm afraid they don't seem to be taking me seriously."

Ray blinked, and tried not to look at Fraser's leg hair trying to escape through the gauzy material. "Really? I can't imagine anyone not taking you seriously in those pants."

Fraser sighed and sat down on the bed. "I know. When I think of the impact I could make if I had red brocade..."

"Oh my God." Ray wriggled across to the other side of the bed. "Freak. Lose the harem pants. For the love of all that's..."

***KER-FWOOSH***

"Gah!" Ray clutched Fraser's hat tight to him as he found himself sharing a bed with Fraser _sans_ pants. Or anything else for that matter. "I thought I had to make a wish?"

"Erm, no. Any request really. Not that it makes any difference now though: you've used up your three wishes."

"I don't believe this! I had three wishes! I could have used them for anything, but no... I ended up in Hawaii in a hotel room bed with a naked... oh. Huh."

Fraser took back his hat. He tutted as he smoothed out the crumples, then put it back on his head, and turned to Ray with a big smile. "Yes?"

"So... we're stuck here, right? I can't wish us back home?"

"No, sorry."

"And I can't wish you back some clothes?"

Fraser shook his head, still smiling.

Ray cleared his throat and adjusted his jeans. "So... we should just... I dunno... make the most of it?"

"Excellent idea," Fraser said, and pounced.

  
 

* * *

End Hat Tricks by Moonloon 

Author and story notes above. 

Please post a comment on this story.  
Read posted comments. 

 


End file.
